Happy Birthday Mom!

This poem is inspired by a poem written by someone else that has been a family favorite since we first saw it. Click here to hear the poem. I recommend this before reading below--it will make it more funny.

ODE TO MY MOTHER

Who taught me to subtract, to multiply and add?
Mother, mother.
Who made me feel better when I was real sad?
Mother, mother.
Who made me eat broccoli, Swiss chard and some slugs?*
Mother, mother.
Who forced me to weed even with nasty bugs?
Mother, mother.
Who says I’m the favorite of her daughters and sons? +
Mother, mother.
Who has prayed for me always, just tons and tons?
Mother, mother.
Who shares in my interests and has the same eyes?
Mother, mother.
Who wishes I’d date even just a few guys?
Mother, mother.
Who got out the gravel when I skinned my knee?
Father, father.
But who kissed it better and filled me with glee?
Mother, mother.


~By Kimberly

*My code word for mushrooms.
+A running family joke, for those that are out of the loop.

Here's the text of the poem on the TV show in case you couldn't understand:

Who etched this tattoo in her purple mu-mu?
Mother, mother.
Who posted my bail every time without fail?
Mother, mother.
And who rushed to the car with my severed thumb in a jar?
Father, father.
But who sewed it back on when the doctor was gone?
Mother, mother.